My Responses to Paul Prather's thought-provoking Column on the Sin of Pride

I remember my mom, Alice, in her latter years saying that the older she got, the fewer answers she possessed.

"Heck," she added, "I'm not even sure anymore what the questions are."

That observation wasn't original with her, I imagine.

But she's the first person I heard say it.

And it didn't make much sense to me. I was young and full of sap and owned the patents on sure-fire solutions to every dilemma.

Trying to decide who to vote for in the next presidential race? I could direct you.

Trying to decide who to vote for in the next presidential race? Research their positions, find out who is funding their campaign and what they stand for, seek to understand the issues of the day by reading widely and looking out for spurious reasoning from those who are not trying to inform you but to deceive you. You have a right to an opinion in politics, it just needs to be informed and not based in faulty reasoning.

Having difficulties in your marriage? I could fix it in three simple steps.

Yes, it can be difficult to avoid problems in ones marriage, but that does not mean you cannot try to learn what the pitfalls are and how to avoid them. The science in this area may be contestable but a person who has just married should seek to become knowledgeable of the institution in which he or she is now invested. It is inevitable that we will make mistakes and be humbled by the lesson, but we must work hard at it and not simply say, whether my marriage works out or not is a matter out of my control.

Troubled by a convoluted theology? I'd unpack it for you.

Convoluted theologies do exist, as do those that are a lot better grounded in reality. We should not simply throw up our hands and say we cannot tell the difference because you can bet those who are espousing the convoluted theologies are not going to stop spreading their “truths.”

Got a squirrelly kid breaking your heart with his rebellion? I could tell you how I'd straighten him out, if I were you.

Parenting is, maybe above all else an inexact process. Like a minefield, you never know exactly where you might misstep and to deadly results. I agree with this one, but again, you should still seek to become wise and astute in your parenting practices. If you find and use the correct approaches to raising your child, the child may still rebel or turn out rotten; but it does not necessarily mean you should have done anything differently. Parents who have done the right things should not beat themselves up when the child does the wrong things anyway.

The older I get, though, the truer my mother's words become.

I see it now, Alice. I truly do.

I realize I was immature and self-deceived. Many people are.

Too often we feel required — by whom, I'm not sure — to set everyone else straight, when frankly we can't even find the wisest path for ourselves.

We voice confident opinions on weighty matters about which we know nothing.

There is no doubt that this is true, in fact, our opinions are often stronger on those things we know the least about, because we know the challenge to convince others of something that has little factual, scientific, or evidential support; will be more difficult to argue.

Eventually, we suffer a jaw-slapping dose of reality. Or several doses.

I cannot argue with this point. We are all going to eat crow at some point or another. That does not mean we were not entitled to state our opinion though. We should learn from each case, not to be silent, but work harder at understanding that which we are talking about.

These days, for me, the hardest part of my jobs as a pastor and a columnist is finding topics every week I feel strongly enough about to express opinions on.

I don't have many strong opinions left: about religion, politics, marriage, economics. Whatever the subject, I'm fairly sure I don't know the best answer.

I can certainly understand his position on this, especially if his roles as pastor and columnist do not give him much time to research subjects and become relatively authoritative on the subjects. But, if this is the case, perhaps he should consider giving up one or both of his positions. Maybe he is too strapped for time.

Because half of the sure-fire answers I patented 20 or 30 years ago turned out to be wrong. They were sure-fire until I faced complicated, bone-grinding problems of my own, tried to work my solutions on them and saw all my efforts fail.

So the lesson being wrong gave him was that he should not have had opinions in the first place or that all of his opinions are now wrong? If, for example, he had the opinion that someone should be humble and not a know it all, should he renounce that opinion because sometimes people who are arrogant and say they know something, actually turn out to have been correct?

There's nothing like experience to open your eyes.

So, the only thing experience can teach us is that the insight we gain from our experience cannot be trusted? Do you see the circularity, and utter hopelessness, in this statement?

I keep gaining more and more of it.

Much of my experience is unpleasant, and that's a good thing.

If the New Testament is to be taken at face value — and (here's a genuine opinion!) I think it largely is — pride is the sin God finds most offensive.

The irony here, of course, is that one of his few remaining opinions is that God hates pride in people. Do you see how arrogant it is for a person to say he knows exactly what God thinks? Did God choose him to send this message to us? I can see it if he quoted something like: "Pride cometh before a fall", but even that is someone else’s opinion.

I'm amused, and a bit frightened, when I encounter religious people railing against, depending on the decade, gambling, drinking, premarital sex, abortion, gay marriage or a big carbon footprint as the ultimate sin that makes God retch.

I agree here. I am sickened when I hear other people weighing in on many of the life choices of others. But if someone says a person should not abuse alcohol because it will kill them or because they might drink and drive and kills others, that to me is a sound opinion and should be stated. He makes the mistake of lumping all opinions in together. If the science says that we should be reducing our carbon footprint because of global warming, which it does; then how is me believing I should do that, in any way like my saying someone should not be allowed to marry someone of the same sex. Those are separate matters, the former based in science and the latter based in tradition and superstition.

Nope. It's pride. That's the biggie.

How prideful, to announce you are speaking for God.

Pride makes us feel superior to our fellow human beings. It enables us to ignore our own destructive actions. It lets us pretend we're so special we don't need God's mercy and don't need to show others mercy, either.

The Scripture's equally clear about the virtue that most pleases God: love.

In the biblical paradigm, love means not judging others, proving ourselves generous of wallet and spirit and, for want of a better description, basically treating everyone, regardless of his or her station or sins, the way we'd want to be treated.

There is no doubt love is wonderful and should be encouraged, but we should treat everyone the way we would want to be treated if we did the same things they did. If someone ignores science, for example, and continues to operate the corporation he runs in efficient ways, thus harming the natural environment for us all; he should be treated as harshly as I should have been treated had I done that.

It's hard to do those things as long as we feel superior.

Love, then, operates hand-in-glove with humility.

Sad to say, many of us don't come ready-made with either virtue.

From the Garden of Eden on down, outlandish hubris has been a fatal flaw of the human race. So it's in God's interest, and in our own interest, for us to discover exactly how un-superior we are. The Lord, and the very universe itself, seems dedicated to producing this discovery.

Because you're straight, are you disgusted by the idea of some man having a romantic relationship with another man?

I cannot disagree with him here. He makes a valid point.

Your favorite son, your namesake, will soon emerge from the closet.

Are you outraged by irresponsible people who make poor educational and career decisions, then expect the government to help support them financially?

I am outraged by people who make poor educational and career decisions, but I hope I can tell the difference between them and people who have been slapped with a harsh life circumstance through birth or choices someone else made for them. In both cases, they should be given our compassion and in some cases, they should be supported by the rest of us until they can get in a position to support themselves.

As you near retirement, your company will go bankrupt, you'll lose your pension and you'll find yourself begging for Medicaid.

Do you roll your eyes at slothful, broken-down folks who eat processed food, get fat and can barely walk through Wal-mart without gasping for air?

You'll run enough marathons to wear out your hips and knees and end up motoring around Walmart in one of those carts for the feeble. Despite all that fiber you digested, you'll develop colon cancer.

It is possible to make good and bad choices with respect to your health. Those who know what constitute good choices and make them, should seek to encourage those who are making bad choices to change their ways and make better choices, not make fun of them. I agree it is never effective to make fun of someone else, and yes, in part because we all have ways in which we too can be found wanting.

When such woes beset us, we ought to fling our palms up and praise God.

We've been positioned to behold the truth: we're but dust. We're at the mercy of forces beyond our control. We're silly and deluded about our wisdom and importance.

Seeing that, suddenly we crave God's forgiveness. We crave the forbearance of other people as well. Through our newfound neediness, we discover within us affection, understanding and patience toward our fellow pilgrims.

When that happens, we've crash-landed at the doorstep of heaven.