The Day After

November 9 2016

Perhaps writing my thoughts will serve as a pressure release and keep me from going on off on someone who starts talking about Trump’s victory, in the next few days.

I feel like I was on a wild roller coaster ride screaming with joy only to have it malfunction and slam to a halt, threatening to kill me and all the people I love who were on there with me. In my simile, I cannot say it killed any of us, since no one I know has actually died as a result of last night’s debacle. There, that’s the good news I was looking for. No one I know is actually dead this morning, as a result of Donald Trump now being President-Elect Trump. I think it will help me that I was able to type those words: President-Elect Trump. So, I typed it again, just in case it really does help.

All of us Hillary supporters seem to have been victimized by the mass euphoria that came with the idea of the first female president and of denouncing Donald Trump for his racism, sexism, bullying, and all the other awful things he does – is - represents. Even President Obama was all swaggy during his appearances on behalf of Hillary, saying things like: “Come on man” and “They took away his twitter,” for laughs. I can understand him being giddy at leaving what must be the most difficult job in the world, after eight long years; and he can be forgiven for believing along with so many of the rest of us, that Hillary was destined to be his successor, but when I think back on his demeanor, it’s like when I think back on so many things leading up to this awful end – it makes we liberals, those of us still basking in the glow of having help elect the first black president – look smug and overconfident.

I want to be angry at her for not fighting back when they called her crooked, criminal, nasty; but I know the pundits will do it without my help, for the foreseeable future. They will pillory Hillary the same way they gore Gore and bury Kerry. Striking out at the “loser” is as predictable as a knee jerking when it is hit with a mallet. I suppose they are searching for the same thing I am, someone or something to blame, that helps the universe appear to make sense. She deserves great respect, though, even for her restraint. Her calm under fire may have helped –oddly enough- lead to her defeat, but she can walk away from politics with her head high - and to paraphrase Michelle’s mantra- while those who falsely accused her, may someday be brought low. That’s the way the world works, right? Justice comes later if not sooner? Please say yes.

I have a nagging feeling this morning, of knowing I could have done more. I could have made phone calls to voters in Ohio, when they emailed me to do so. I could have been more vocal with the people I know; and I could go on with the could haves, relating to the campaign. But there is another sort of woulda, coulda, shoulda feeling I have, which is much deeper, more personal.

As I look back at my life, I can see how I have – at times- been sort of Donald Trumpish in my approach. At times in my life, I have been arrogant, cocky, I have no doubt come across as something of a bully, I have been sexist; treating the women I interact with, with less respect than they deserve. I must have seemed hollow or shallow to others at time, people who would not tell me so, either because they love me or – I shudder to think- because they were afraid of my reaction.

I think that is what I want to try to take away from this whole thing. I want to try to fully grasp who I am by holding up Donald Trump as a comparison; to see where I can improve. That is available to all of us now, and it will be for at least the next four years, unless something even crazier happens and his time is cut short.  

Bullies will have him to remind them how ugly that behavior is. Racists, bigots, religionists, etc. might be shamed into understanding how unfair it is to use one fact about someone to define them; by watching Donald Trump do it on the international stage – hopefully with results that might even make him at some point, feel ashamed.

We will have a woman president someday, we will have another African-American president, and who knows, we may even get to the point that we can elect Michelle Obama to that office. Meanwhile, I think we all understand, we are entering -what I hope is a relatively brief – modern-day version of the dark ages. A woman’s right to choose is imperiled, as is Obamacare, as are seats on the supreme court – I mean, Trump has all of congress and most of the statehouses on his side, so he will be able to inflict maximum damage on: science in general and as it pertains to global climate change, decency, civility, and diversity. He will be able to continue our long nightmare of corporate-controlled government and thus, to keep the gap between the haves and the have-nots at its piteous high.

Nonetheless, I still believe in the enlightenment, the renaissance and perhaps most importantly, evolution. In fact, my hope rests mainly in evolution. Human beings did not have the capacity to reason until relatively recently. Perhaps it was predictable we would exhibit cognitive dissonance about critical reasoning – evidenced-based thinking- since it requires us to suppress our basest instincts, our superstitions and tendency toward grand conspiracy theories. When people are sad, they get afraid, when they get afraid, they get angry, when they get angry, they lash out at the world – and in this case, the “whitelash” as Van Jones called it – will have national and international ramifications.

But just as we will continue to evolve biologically, we will evolve socially and psychologically; until which time humans will be able to think of all sentient beings on this planet as their kind, as their brothers and sisters and their in-group. I doubt if I will see this in my lifetime and I can now see it was probably a pipe dream to imagine I was about to see it soon. I am strong, as are the ones I love who are feeling the same pain I am today. We will not only get through this, but some of us might even live to witness the time when we claim higher ground as a species; and refuse to give it up.

-->